The Littlest Necromancer Rides Again

19 08 2015

I read a story once. 

I won’t bore you with the details but let me just say this: There were three brothers who worshipped a filthy god. One was a warrior of impressive skill, one was a powerful wizard, and the third was a beast; a great hulking thing that bore his siblings into battle atop his mighty shoulders. 

Oh and if the big one ate you alive he would pass you out as a twisted demon. 

Details, I know. 

Anyways the necromancer approached me the other day in her usual manner. Her expression was perplexed and her gaze was far off. Building my courage I asked her what she was thinking about.

“If I were a bug I think I’d be a mosquito.” She said.

“Okay. And why would you be a mosquito?” I asked.

She thought on this a little longer before continuing with a very matter of fact tone. “Because they suck blood and its okay. People don’t hate them because they suck their blood, just because they make you itchy.”

“Well, I guess that’s true. The itching is what people focus on.”

“I wouldn’t be like a regular one though.” she continued.

At this point I think most people would be a little surprised that their child didn’t admit to wanting to be more like a regular animal, say a lion or a pony or a unicorn, something you might see on National Geographic you know? I was expecting there to be more to this story and as always, she didn’t let me down. 

“I would be a really big one so that I could suck all the blood!”

Then she put her arms straight out to her sides flapped her hands at the wrist and rushed off making buzzing noises, stopping every few feet to make awful slurping sounds. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she sounded like a bumblebee. At least I think its because I didn’t have the heart to. I may have said it because I was still in a little bit of shock from the exchange I just had. 

In the end it doesn’t really matter. The weird keeps on keeping on around these parts.