I’m About to Ramble Your Face Off

26 01 2013

Life sucks.

It’s the bloody truth.

There’s never enough of anything you need and there’s always too much of the garbage that you don’t want. Now don’t worry this isn’t the depressed, ink infused ramblings of a writer hopped up on Edgar Allen Poe shorts. (Which I’m thinking must have been Bermuda. Those would depress me too)

No. These are the words of an oddly inspired fellow who just happens to spew thought and concern and all manner of feelings out into the void. Thoughts about how the world runs. Concerns about the place in which we live. And demons. Terrible concerns about demons. And a wide gambit of feelings cleverly disguised as stories.

Shorts are the quick fears, the most prevalent thoughts. Novels; the quiet boiling tid bits at the back of whichever part of the brain thought and memory hang out in.

Life sucks.

It is our job to unsuck it.

And yes, unsuck does end up with a red squiggly ‘this ain’t right’ flag under it when you force it into word but it’s real. I have an English degree, trust me.

You, as a bonafide human being, or possibly an alien working on his English using a computer terminal you hid under the floor boards in the lab at Area 51 when everyone thought you were unconscious in your tank like you should be, surely realizes that life is not always want you want it to be. Especially you Hlamnarata’bip! GET BACK IN YOUR TANK!

It’s the way it is. There isn’t enough money. There isn’t enough time. The cafeteria stopped serving tater tots. It happens. Must you accept it? Yes. These things are probably out of your immediate control. But do you need to accept it? I know, it looks confusing but it’s really not.

Acknowledge the fact that change has occurred. Nothing to be done. Spilt milk and all that jazz. Who says you have to lie down and take it though? Nobody. Not enough money? Forget it! Study, go back to school, change your field; forge a new path into a career more akin to your liking. Are you already digging your job? Then excel. Educate yourself further. Rise above the immediate task of your position and declare you want more. Or dump it entirely and delve into the unknown abyss of another line of work.

Not enough time? Stow that. Bull. I got 24 hours. You got 24 hours. EVERY SINGLE person you might tout as being so much more productive than you have 24 hours. You don’t have the time? Are you kidding? MAKE IT. Cut the waste, fill the time with generative endeavors. Read that book. Build that Middle Ages trebuchet reproduction. Walk away from your computer. Go outside. Take the kids. Do something.

And do you want those tater tots? I said DO YOU WANT THOSE TATER TOTS SALLY?

Then cook your own! Bring them from home. Prepare ahead of time, reheat and package in a thermal lunch bag. Or bring them chilled to reheat in the office microwave. What? Can’t do it? No microwave? Than heat it with the rage that boils deep in your heart. Focus that anger until they brown from the delicious hate fueled radiation from your eyes! Or put them in your pocket.

Body heat. That’s probably easier.

You got a problem? There’s hundreds or thousands more people that are dealing with the exact same. The biggest favor you can do yourself when faced with really anything, is to take a step back, look at the problem thoughtfully and decide that you are not going to approach it in defeat. It will not sadden you. It will not kill you. It will do nothing to stop you from continuing to live the hell out of your life.

People come and they go. Birth, death, divorce, plane, train, flying saucer, whatever.

Life is challenging. You have choices. Do not let yourself squander opportunity because you refuse to analyze the situation, adapt to it and overcome it like a bad kidney stone. There may be blood. There may be incredible discomfort at times. And you might do a silly dance at the ER reception from the pain. But it’s okay. You’re a human. Or you’re Hlamnarata’bip.

Point is you can cope. You just need to focus. That’s what separates you from any other form of life. And tools. And higher brain functions. Okay, and thumbs. But those aren’t totally necessary.

Just look at Hlamnarata’bip. Ha ha, you tentacle-y freak. Put that down.




5 responses

26 01 2013

Wow! Amen brother! Well said!

24 02 2013
Anne Schilde

I wish I could enumerate the things that life should have left unsucked.

24 02 2013
Kyllan Brindle

I dare say you might be counting awfully high Anne!

24 02 2013
Anne Schilde

Ha, well that just sucks, doesn’t it?

24 02 2013
Kyllan Brindle

More likely that my response is overly pessimistic. This is one of those post that I fired out there and instantaneously forgot. I find the yelling at yourself in a public forum approach to dealing with frustrations to be supremely lifting. And being able to write it out instead of actually shouting in a public space is even better.
I don’t even remember what inspired the ramble in the first place honestly. Though I’m okay with that since it is sort of the point. It does remind me again how the cafeteria at work stopped making tater tots though.
That’s kind of sad.

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