Sushi, Dead People, and My Wife

8 01 2013

So a while ago I mentioned that one of my long cons finally paid off for me. I fooled some nice young girl into marrying me. HAR HAR HAR WHAT A SUCKER. Luckily she has yet to realize that she got the short end of that deal. So lately I’ve been devising new ways to keep her in the dark about what a terrible situation she’s gotten herself into. The first of which was a trip to Maine for a sea side honeymoon. Which we did and since it was just such a good time I thought maybe I’d vomit forth into the internet a recounting of at least some of the places. Maybe next post’ll be one filled with tales of food and beer.

Though Hasbro has lately pointed out that I throw a lot of food onto Facebook. Not literally of course. That’s just rude.

So where to start? Oooooooo, our lodgings of course! It was a great inn by the sea. In fact, it was actually called  Inn by the Sea! And it was just that. An Inn. By the sea. It served coffee. By the sea. Called COFFEE BY THE SEA, MY GOD IT’S LIKE THEY’RE WORRIED YOU’LL MISS THE OCEAN!

*Eye twitches, falls out of chair*

Where was I? Right, the inn. I took a photo, you can see it! It’s a shot of the exterior from where we looked out from our massive two stories windows. Like honeymooning gods staring down upon all of the unworthy folk of earth. Or the other guests. Whatever. Look.

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I took a lot of pictures of places. And by a lot I mean a few. I grabbed shots of some of the more interesting points we came across. Now since I haven’t strayed too terribly far from the subject of the Inn I feel as though I should share with you the sea that it was by because, you know, its by it.

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The day we had arrived this stuff was calm. There was a brilliant blue sky and the foam was tame and lapped gently at the sand as opposed to the day that I took it. Which was the day immediately after Frankenstorm hit Maine. Naturally (because its water tee hee) the surf was kind of rough and the clouds hung in the sky like an angry gray marshmallow. Which I pronounce as marsh-MELLOW. In case you’re curious. And of course between the Inn and the Sea (which it was by did you know?) was a great little path through a lengthy stand of trees.

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You could bury bodies here! Not that I’d want to. Of course. Heh.

Uh, moving on. There were other places of interest that I capture in the soul stealing device modern man calls “camera”. Another of the highlights of the trip, at least for me, was the Portland Mead Works. Nestled high on the hill that is the city of Portland sits a modest building with a massive front that we drove past twice before stopping at a 7-11 to ask for directions. Interestingly enough two of the three employees there had no idea where or even what it was. Now what makes this particularly ironic is the fact that it is immediately next door.

I mean throw a rock like a middle school softball player and you’ll hit it no problem. Hell, my six-year-old could probably peg the building with a stone from the massive parking lot of the gas station. Because he’s a hoodlum. Ha! I’m just kidding. The parking lot wasn’t that big.

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If you look carefully you can see a supermodel standing next to a doofus with a beard taking a picture. HI INTERNET! That’s my soul!

Inside we met two fellows who seemed to be the only employees. I’m wondering if maybe they were the only two there that day? Or maybe they staff a lot of ghosts. The town is haunted as they come. Totally possible. According to a local ghost tour host it has been burned to the ground and rebuilt on three occasions. Not to mention shelled from the harbor. In fact, one of the churches in town still has a cannon ball in its chandelier from when it suffered a direct hit.

It didn’t cause damage it just caught the ball! Jesus DOES save!

Anyhow it was a cool place. The Mead Works not the church. Well maybe the church, we didn’t see it. But the Works? We took a tour of the facility, had a tasting of nearly every variety of mead that they sell there and then went for sushi. Another fantastic day in Portland which features several places to grab Japanese food. Made me a tad homesick to be honest.

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That picture right there? That’s a window display next to the door of one of our higher rated sushi spots in Portland proper. It nearly brings tears to the eye.   *Sniff*

Moving on. Grrrkk. Just, look over there, I’ve got something in my eye. *Sniff* No, YOU man up. *SOB*

You know what always cheers me up when I’m down? MUSICALLY INCLINED SEAFOOD!

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Oh those crazy singing sea creatures. They must know Ariel. That’s my only explanation. And I’m still manly. I have kids, I can make Disney references. COME AT ME!

Anyway. That building right there is a pub right next to a little park on a street that runs the length of the ocean front area of Portland. The park has an apparently retired buoy in it that every damn child nearby couldn’t help but ring as loud as possible. In the park is where we met a lovely group of people mostly from Portland as it turns out that had assembled for a ghost tour. It was the closing days of October so why wouldn’t you right? Plus my wife and I love ghosts and their stories so this was a mandatory thing to do.

We checked in with the tour guide who dubbed us “Upstate”. There was another couple from New York State that were city natives thus they were dubbed “Part of the city in which they lived.” I’ve obscured their name to protect their identities. And maybe because I can’t remember.

Now I know for sure that I took pictures of plenty of places around town that were stops on the tour. But for some reason the only photo I can find currently is this one.

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Yeah. It’s an alley. A HAUNTED ALLEY. According to the guide, in this particular alley, woman are said to be touched and interacted with but unseen presences. Naturally he made us walk through it while he ran around to the other side of the building using a different route. It’s okay he was fun. A goofy dude. Sort of reminded me of Sacco both in look and mannerism from that crazy witches blog over at stuffalsothings.

It was a good, nay it was a GREAT time. Portland, Maine is a place I love. The salty ocean air, the omnipresent feel of spray on the skin walking down the streets of half of the city, it all feels so proper. It’s a peaceful feeling, at least for me. We’re planning on going back and I cannot wait!

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