Cooking With Spam IV: A New Tin

9 07 2012

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. It seems I’m getting close to running out of Star Wars films and yet, like certain forms of antibiotic resistant bacterial infections, the spam just refuses to die! I suppose that must be part of its charm. If meat in a tin can be called charming.

I must admit before I get rolling into it like a pig in swaller, that for this installment I’m using some particularly bold bits of who-the-hell-knows-what-part-of-the-animal-that-is. As usual however, the spam is presented in it’s totally, 100% unedited, oddly formed glory. There will be spelling errors. There will be wonky grammar. My responses to such Tomfoolery is in Italics.

Now let’s Ital-lick this meat! No? Too much? 

Okay.

FastCas3 Writes,

Behold your site with frequency!

Yes, Behold it NOW!

I could not help but notice that there is an incredible lack of recipies here.

Well, typically I don’t write about cooking. I suppose I could start throwing something out there? I have a fantastic “recipie” for some “really special” brownies.

But I find that that way of presenting the facts is strange.

And now we go from the “Did my spam filter mess up?” pile to the odd meat folder where you belong!

Did you know that for instance there wil be new ways of publishing recipies in books this year?

Like different ink or something? Can I start using all this pig’s blood I’ve been stockpiling?

There has be money to be made in the future of this sort of publishing. Perhaps you should offer you’re sort of meat to them?

Now listen here buddy. I’m all for making money but I don’t think offering my “sort of meat” to strangers is the safest way to go about it.

And with some edit services from [supposed editing services url] you too can make good income from books right here!

Alright, listen. First of all, I think there is an error in that link. I just don’t see how “Real Live Girls” is going to help me properly edit anything. And secondly, I’m really starting to have my doubts at this point about how much you know about books or cooking or anything so I will say good day to you sir.

Stop bye and use the coupon coded [possibly fake coupon code] for instants savings discounted!

I said good day!

 

1CY23 writes,

There is something elegant here.

Wait, here? You must be a spambot.

I once read a poster in portugal, a very beautiful language.

Portuguese? Is it beautiful? I can’t think of what it sounds like. Wait. You were in Portugal reading it or did you mean the poster was in Portuguese?

I couldn’t not have tried better to say it myself.

Really? Wait, what?

It sold tickets to the most popular bull in town.

I’m trying really hard to understand here. I promise I am. So, where the tickets to go and see a bull like a side-show? Was it some sort of act?

There is an overwelming since of the spirit of sport there.

Please. For the love of grammar. What are you talking about?!

I can notice that very thing here.

What are you noticing? Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?

Keep up the good work.

Fine, sure. Whatever you say.

 

CrafT writes,

You!

Yes?

It’s so deep!

The depth at which you have brought this subject to is asounding!

It was a blog entry about spam. You’re commenting on one of my spam posts. Do you understand you’re about to be ON a spam post?

If only more hosts and bloggers felt this way we coluld bring about some change.

Honestly, sometimes you people exhaust me. And really, I think I’m writing what most bloggers are thinking when they peruse their spam boxes.

If you have anymoreadvice about sspreading the word do not hesitate to write more blogs about this very improtant topic!

Oh I’m pretty sure there will be more.

I can thank you enough.

Dude. Ouch.

Enjoy the day! Keep blogging!

Woah, you can’t follow an insult with a farewell. This is ridiculous! Just for that I’m NOT going to enjoy my day. Yeah, what do you think about that meat product? Hehe. I showed that guy.

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