Disappointment With A Side Of Fries

24 12 2011

/target soapbox

/climb

/rant

I have to do it. It’s unavoidable. Let’s blow some steam shall we?

The Vixen and I went out to lunch today. We thought to ourselves, “It’s oddly nice out for an upstate New York winter, why not go out for lunch somewhere greater than par?” And that is precisely what we thought we were doing.

As it turned out you can’t actually trust all the reviews you read on those thing. The general ones I mean. Those quotes that lack a source. As you may be guessing already, this place has a number of positive quotes printed on the back of their menus. There was even one by “she who names olive oil silly things” right smack at the top.

Which, speaking of Rachael Ray, I would appreciate a $20 a day show a lot more than $40. Or a 16.75 sort of a day. And how in the world do Food Network stars make money off of things that they didn’t really do anything to create. Rachael Ray calls the extra virgin olive oil E.V.O.O. and somehow sells her own brand, translating a goofy name for a common kitchen item into sales with exactly 0 effort.

Or Emeril who mixes together a concoction of spices and yells whenever he throws it about his food like some sort of coked up pixy. Yeah, a mixture you could easily make at home in a ziplock bag that he has somehow mystified by selling it in a plastic container and associating a magic phrase with it.

Sorry that tangent kind of took off.

Back to Rachael Ray though. Her quote was overwhelmingly positive. She claims that there is one particular appetizer item that you simply must try. After today I’m thinking that the place hired a real chef to cook for Rachael Ray and then fired him shortly after.

Our total for lunch was $73.00. It took an hour for soup to arrive and the food was not as it had been hyped. Granted some of it was okay. “Yummmm, this fish tastes like Disappointment!”

The soup is one thing that really stood out. The poor server that we had been assigned attempted to explain it. She was rather unsuccessful. But from what I could gather from the broken description and the taste of the soup, I’m guessing someone thought it was a good idea to use Aunt Jemima as a base. If that doesn’t make you cringe…

This stuff drives me nuts. I used to work in a restaurant that required you be drilled before work on the specials so you would ideally not stumble or  have to repeat yourself and trust me there wasn’t a lot of repetition there. The bosses made sure you knew what you were talking about. Which is why a break down in some of the most basic restaurant practices like that drive me nuts. If we can find reasons to merit a visit by Robert Irvine, somethings wrong.

CLEARLY

Oh and for $73.00 I expect that at the very least you know how to boil pasta until its done. Though since it was for Terminally Cute’s mac and cheese, it wasn’t so bad. I’ve seen her eat things that fell out of the garbage and into a shoe.

Don’t think the pasta not being al dente bothered her that much. But hey, this is one of those things I hate. Don’t set your prices based solely on the town in which you operate. Tourism is one of the biggest parts of the economy in the town in which I live. For some reason the businesses in town think that the tourists are here year round . Prices never go down… 

And sometimes, it’s just not worth it.

/jump off soapbox

/sit

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